Conversations With God
A few days ago, during my quiet time with God, I found myself asking Him, “Lord, why is that even when I know that you are working for my good, I still find myself wanting to run back to the things you’ve taken out of my life? Why am I still hurting even when I know You have greater things in store?”
Has anyone else ever wrestled with similar questions? Has anyone else wondered why they still long for what God has been telling you to let go of? Have you ever felt like you were floating in this grey area of knowing God is doing a work in you but being low key discontent with the method he’s choosing to change you?
Please tell me I’m not the only one raising my hand right now.
These are the feelings and questions that I’ve been wrestling with, and I’m sitting here now to share with you some of the things I’m learning as well as the things God has been speaking over my heart.
Things I’m Learning:
1.) Change is a lot less scary when we place our trust in God.
Why do we run back to people or things that are unhealthy for our lives? Lots of reasons. It feels good. It’s easy. It’s what we know.
It is much more comfortable to cling to what is familiar – even if it’s no good for us – than it is to lean into the unknown and uncertainty of things.
But how do we “embrace the uncertainty”? It’s a phrase that gets tossed around a lot these days, and I think the answer may look different for everybody. For me, it means approaching every situation with an open heart and an open mind. It means surrendering control, releasing our expectations, and allowing life to bring us places.
Now, it is much easier said than done. Embracing the uncertainty can feel scary as hell. But what I’m learning is that embracing change is a lot less scary when we place our trust in God. Why? Because He has already seen what lies ahead. He knows what’s behind all the fog of uncertainty and he’s already prepared the path for us to walk through. Let that sink in. We need only to lean in and trust in His guidance.
“God has prepared the path before me. Even if you don’t know what’s there, He knows what’s there. Sometimes that’s the only way we can go forward… because we know God has already been there.“
How comforting is it to know that God has already worked out what we’re worried about!
2.) Shifting Our Focus Back on God is Key
Honesty Hour aka Please Don’t Judge Me:
As I mentioned before, I still feel somewhat trapped in my feelings of pain & sadness despite the fact that in the back of my mind, I know God is doing what’s best for me. I think this is where the problem starts – this Truth is in the back of my mind. I say this because I will confess with my mouth that God is good, and faithful and leading me to greater things and yet my mind… oh, my mind. It is completely elsewhere. My mind is in no way aligning with the words coming out of my mouth. Instead, it is too busy focusing on my circumstances, my “lack”, my “loss”… It is always wandering down memory lane and walking laps around the “If Only...” track.
It is no wonder why I feel so low. All of my energy is spent focusing on things I can not change and only bring me down.
What I’m discovering is that the key to pulling myself out of that low state of being is shifting my focus back on God. And by this I mean actually focusing on Him. Not merely declaring things with my mouth, but making sure that my heart and mind are tuned in to His truths and His promises as well.
More often than not, I find that when I do this I feel an instant sense of peace and lightness.
3.) Trusting in God’s Timing + Consistent prayer.
“Why am I still hurting even when I know You have greater things in store?”
I think one reason why I hurt is because I grow impatient waiting for those “greater things” to come in to my life. It’s kinda like my heart is saying “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it, God. Your timing is perfect. Pero like…”
The struggle while waiting is SO real and I know a lot of people can relate. I wish I could give you all a formula that would completely eliminate the feelings of anxiety and frustration during seasons of waiting but I honestly think it’s absolutely normal for these feelings to arise.
What I can share with you are a few things that help me trust in God’s timing:
- Spending quiet time with God in prayer and getting everything off my chest. I don’t hold anything back because what’s the point? He already knows it, haha. I find that saying my prayers out loud help too. When I speak my thoughts aloud, I feel like I’m draining my mind and my body of the thoughts that make me feel weary.
- Meditating on God’s word & letting it soak in… My favorite bible verse on waiting:
“We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves… and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” – Romans 8:24-34 [MSG]
- Encouraging podcasts. The most recent one that spoke to my heart:
- Listening to worship music & getting so lost in the lyrics that my worship becomes a declaration.
If you made it this far, I want to thank you for taking the time to read about what’s been on my heart. I hope this post encouraged or blessed you in some way.
I would love to hear from you!
What are some things you’ve been learning?
All my love,