Have you ever been so deep in discouragement that you found yourself creating false narratives about your character, your life, or your circumstances?
I’m talking about those moments when life gets so difficult that you begin to believe and live out story lines like “I’ll never get that job,” or “I’ll always be a failure.” To be honest, I’ve been experiencing a lot of this lately. When things get tough, I start speaking life into hindering narratives like “I’ll never be good enough” (or clever enough or creative enough, etc.), and I’m never going to actually succeed in pursuing my passions or make my God-sized dreams come true. It’s not a fun feeling and it can be mentally draining at times.
Then I discovered that words have power. I realized that when I (wrongfully) believed and spoke negative narratives over my life, I acted in such a way that fulfilled those words. This realization caused me to reassess the stories I had been telling myself and to finally do something to change them. As a result, I have rewritten my inner dialogue so that it is healthier, more caring, and more empowering.
Friends, recognize that the words we choose to speak over our lives and the beliefs we have about our circumstances can affect our actions which in turn affects the way we live.
If you find yourself in a situation where you’re holding on to a false or harsh narrative that no longer serves you, I invite you to change the story you’ve been telling yourself. Let’s take out a fresh, clean page and fill it with kinder words and healthier plots that empower us to move forward.
Keep on reading to find out you can edit and rewrite your own story!
1.) Identify Your Narrative.
Before we change our story, we must first identify the inner dialogue we’ve been speaking over our lives. What stories have you been telling yourself? Maybe it’s something similar to the ones I mentioned earlier. Or maybe it’s something along the lines of:
- “I’ll never be qualified enough”
- “I’m always going to be in debt”
- “I’ll never find love”
- “Everyone is doing better than me”
- “I’ll never live the life I want”
Regardless of what it is, once you’ve identified the narrative(s) that you’ve been telling yourself, reflect on how they make you feel. Frustrated? Defeated? Hopeless?
Now decide if it’s a story that you want to continue living out. If not, let them go. Release them from your life. Refuse to believe they hold any sort of truth. Toss ’em in the trash and give them a big fat “NOPE!” when they try to sneak back into the pages of your life.
After you’ve done this, it’s time to get started on replacing your outdated narrative with one that empowers you.
2.) Create a new story.
Just how do we go about changing our story so that we can replace our old one? Simple – to change our story, we must change our perception of the story. This does not in any way mean we change the facts or the events of our current or past situations. Rather, it involves looking at our situation from a different angle with a healthier perspective and a more loving lens. It means finding the good in our situation which might seem difficult at first, but know that some sort of good can always be found.
Changing our story to one that empowers us requires a more hopeful attitude about our current and future circumstances. It requires us to use a more understanding, and kind tone towards ourselves. It also involves a willingness to move the story forward.
Here are some things you can incorporate into your new story:
- Acknowledge your old story and/or the feelings you had towards your circumstances.
- Acknowledge that you no longer choose to feel that way.
- You can take note of any things you were grateful for or learned while in that mindset.
- Look at your circumstances from a different angle and put a positive spin on it.
- Continue to gas yourself and look for all the good that flows from the new story you created!
It’s challenging to make an exact guideline for how to create a new story because I know everyone’s circumstances are so unique! These are just a few things I like to include when I create my new narratives. Continue reading to get a better idea of what it looks like to change your story.
Let’s say you’ve experienced a few rejections from places you’ve applied to, and you’re now running on the narrative of “I always get rejected. I’ll never get the ____ of my dreams.” [fill in the blank – job, school, etc.]
Not true, boo. Let’s change our story!
Here’s an example of what you could say instead:
I might not have gotten the position I applied for, and although I feel sad and disappointed now, I know I gave it my everything and that’s all that matters. I’m SO proud of myself for all of the hard work and effort that I put in to trying to achieve my goals. I am choosing to see this “rejection” as a redirection towards what’s really meant for me. I know that whatever comes my way in the future will be an even better match for me and what I am seeking. I’m going to continue to work hard, and I am so excited to see what opportunities are on their way to me right now!
See how this new narrative just feels lighter, and more hopeful? In this new story, we were able to acknowledge the truth of what happened and our feelings towards the situation – not getting the position and feeling sad/disappointed. We found some good in the situation – being proud of the hard work that was put in. And lastly, we were able to change our perception of what happened by redefining rejection as a redirection towards something greater!
Note that this is just one example of how you can rewrite your story. There is not one way to do this! You can create your story however you’d like as long as it is one that moves you forward!
3.) Live Out Your New Narrative.
The final step is to live out your narrative. Believe in every single word and put actions behind them. Be intentional. Move deliberately. Live your life as if your new narrative is true because it is.
One last thing! I hope you also remember how strong and resilient and worthy the main character of your story is – You! Yes, you! You are extraordinary. Remind yourself of that as often as possible.
What stories do you plan on releasing from your life? What narratives are you planning on replacing them with?
I love you guys!